Masks
 

Photographer & Styling: Anda Roman

Dress: &Other Stories , Mask: Accessorize 

Alexandra Roman

Alexandra Roman

 

I borrowed the mask from my mother,

because…

I read this micro-poem 

by Nayyirah Waheed

and…

it stayed with me

 

“all the women in me

are tired”

 

One afternoon I lie with a glass of white wine

and I’m just starring at the ceiling

carrying thoughts 

that

are intertwined and they’re so many 

you can’t hear any

like those white starry nights soaked in whispers in that alcohol infused kinda way

where the whispers are so loud

everyone can hear, 

 

but…

my strongest whisper 

is

 

“I yearn to feel confident and strong”

because some days

I don’t feel that way,

most days really

so I put on these masks 

some with glitter

some lascivious 

and I get this sudden rush of confidence 

but

that’s all it is

something sudden

that quickly vanishes

like a shy, rose-blushing smile,

 

It’s kind of a multi-colored feeling

because you want to feel those things 

but…

you’re scared of real things 

because let’s face it 

we run away from realness and reality 

cause that’s when shit gets complicated

and 

you gotta face yourself 

and you start asking yourself how much you’re willing to put at stake

how much.

and it’s easier to run away 

 

but…

I’ve grown tired of all the women I’ve put forth

of all the masks I’ve impersonated

of all the people I said I was,

they’re old faded portraits

sandwiched in between pages of my life

cause today

I feel newly awakened  

a freeing feeling that shrinks the world 

with aimless humility 

and I just let out as many experiences and feelings and memories and internal folders 

I let them spill all over 

in this big chaotic mess

cause at the end of the day

they all fall perfectly into place

and somehow,

you find your home

and your people

and you finally feel like

yourself.

 

With love,

 

Alexandra Roman