Paradise

Paradise

Dress & Watch: Michael Kors, Bag: Valentino, Sunglasses: Gucci, Heels: Vera Wang, Flats: Chanel, Blazer: Moschino

Photographer: Lameya Aamir,  Styling&Editing: Alexandra Roman 

IMG_1388.JPG
The only cats that are worth anything are the cats that take chances.
— Thelonious Monk

I remember last year 

wishing I had the courage to do what I love

to tremble with joy more so than ever

to live and just breath in life 

and have my dreams unfold inside of me,

 

but I couldn’t do it 

and I don’t know why exactly

something didn’t feel quite right

or life intervened somehow 

like those days when you pick up any senseless drama 

a new boy

friend

some self-deprecatory thoughts perhaps

and then fall in love with your pain 

and

you forget why you’re really here 

and you become breathless

caught up in hopeless old windows and stories

and you collect this jumble of thoughts 

and you forget the only most important thing 

paradise

the paradise within your own mind 

like when you take a look in the mirror 

and you can’t help but find something

but paradise is right here

right inside of us 

 

I found it this month

 

I say this as I’m about to finish my internship in DC

and i’m asked what it’s like 

 

what’s it like finding paradise? 

What’s DC like?

What’s my internship like?

 

I answer that it’s amazing, breathtaking, invigorating & hard

all at the same time,

 

it’s hard because 

when you find something or someone that you love

you don’t give half of you anymore

but all 

and you don’t mind it 

 

it’s hard because I miss my family and their soft syrupy eyes and roaring laughter and soulful talks 

it’s difficult because we are a tribe that travel together 

and now I’m alone

and I miss our fireplace and cold gin tonics 

or papa’s meticulous analysis of the Romanian political scene 

 

but…

it’s amazing because I have them in my life 

and that my heart is filled with so much love

 

My time here

is amazing because of DC’s eclectic atmosphere

and night life in tall glass buildings with different songs intertwined 

or its stunning views

and market places that you get lost into filled with street artists pouring their soul out to every stranger that walks by 

and you can’t help but close your eyes and take it all in

and it’s local bars filled with laughter and cold beer and heartfelt “hello’s”

and it’s tiny obscure bookshops filled with time’s old whispers

and old stone houses glued and squished to one another all draped in bright burnt colors 

some golden yellow, some matte ocher, other pale pink raspberry 

and its mouthwatering coffee shops that glow in the morning sun under olive trees

that make you fall silent and sit still 

 

my internship is amazing

because of the people 

all new in my life

that overflow with kindness and integrity and a drive to change the world 

that have discussions about what makes them tick 

about differences and similarities 

it’s amazing because of how strangely familiar it all seems

how familiar it is to answer the phone and connect with constituents and listen to their stories 

to attend briefings and see all these giants with grande ambitions 

spill over their ideas of how to better our world 

how inspiring it is to be amongst souls soaked in warrior shields 

and every day

I wake up 

and feel infatuated 

 

and all I can say 

with a fresh salty breath of life

is be gentle 

and find your own paradise

With love, 

 

a