Alexandra Roman7 Comments

Parfum

Alexandra Roman7 Comments
Parfum

Dress: Lanvin 

Photos: Felicia Simion

Styling: Alexandra Roman

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When I was stretched under you, under the curling of your voice

through foreign stars  

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skin onto my body 

until the inside of my thighs burned a little 

 

words spinning bet w  e   e  n 

u

              s      

 
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carrying thoughts, so intertwined, so many, you couldn’t hear any, like those white starry nights 

 

soaked in whispers in that alcohol infused kinda way

where the whispers are so loud everyone can hear  

 

 

 

I think I lost myself (?) 

 

 

 

My sense of self, polished with wax. 

fuck. 

 
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I bathed my neck with perfume; the one with Bulgarian rose, Sri-Lankan sandalwood and

Madagascan vanilla; a tad of fake tan so I wouldn’t look so pale, a nice pair of underwear

draped in bright burnt colors (maybe matte ocher or pale pink raspberry) where a glimpse of

its lace would show through my white blouse. I think I looked sexy. Not vulgar

 
 
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I made sure not to slice my words too         

thickly.

 

I let out only freshly brewed sensations of a

 

caramelized happiness. 

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i reached out to grab your hand and gave you a heartfelt hello because fuck i knew, i knew you’d fall silent and sit still and let the silence strike me too 

             

           cause yes I knew the damn distance and

             the damn ocean would turn to          s a n d  

 

cutting deeper through our signature scents 

 

 

dar eu inca te iubeam si inca speram si inca imi incordam pulpele carnoase la atingerea ta


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but baby you let your tears fall down 

 

   at the touch of my             h e l l o 

 

                         

              so I gave you my goodbye 

 

 

a stretched out goodbye like a lazy cat on a Sunday afternoon 

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II

 

When I wrote this poem, the poem above

I had this shaking anxiety, these feelings that were so hard to reach, 

This is how I've lived, mumbling things 1,2,3 under my breath 

 

But you can make the world beautiful 

if you don't lie to it 

if you don't lie 

don't lie

 

11:10

 

and on this morning I feel at ease 

because i'm finding more of myself the more

 s i n c e r e  I am

and I encourage you too  

don't lie 

11:11

 

your ego and your soul can love each other 

don't lie 

don't hide

don't hold it in 

don't let false emotions, false fears, false illusions 

eat you alive and skin you alive

don't let circumstances consume you

and maybe honesty won't always get you what you want 

hell honesty hasn't gotten me what i've wanted 

and people may leave because ur truth is heavy 

or they may stay because your truth matches theirs 

or they may come back cause your pasts are too intertwined 

but what is meant to be will be 

and "the truth will set you free" 

11:12

 

the hardest people were once the softest 

the most closed off people were once the most open and trusting 

the most cruel were once the most loving

this is the tragedy of our existence

11:13

 

your scars are like stars

but

it wouldn't be the first time someone crawled out of hell

and made it alive

11:14

 

This is how i love

11:15


 
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III

 

Unsa in emotie topita 

ma imbat cu iluzii false si sunt jefuita de sinceritate, 

imi las sufletul afara 

incat carnea lui sa arda cat soarele isi coase razele in el,

si ma doare, simt cum tremur,

aievea imi simt sufletul si capul greu de ganduri

si vad numai cenusa si e aspra si simt noaptea pe umeri

si ma plimb pe drumul mintii cat impletesc lacrimi de pe un obraz si de pe altul

si ma apasa mustrarea ca

e greu sa imi las sufletul afara 

11:16

 

lasa-ti lumea vazuta 

e crima perfecta sa te ascunzi 

11:17

 

inima se imbolnavaeste 

daca o tii in intuneric 

11:18 

 

fara lupta

acum ma las vazuta 

11:19